professional environments
this kind of came up today in a discussion between friends
i am probably what people would describe as a textbook people pleaser
i tax myself too much to try and make things easier for other people, to the point that it frustrates me but i won't compromise on who i am out of frustration (another pet peeve for another post)
in the workplace, to me as a basic concept, i am there to do work and make whatever entity i am working for money
to make my time there easier, i like making friends and i like helping people out where i can - which i do because i want to, but also have a small hope that people will want to repay that back some day, or just when i need it
but i don't hold it against them when they don't, because it was my choice, and i will own that
also if i have a problem, i am more likely than not going to voice it - that's the only way it can logically get solved apart from me just not engaging and moving on in my own way
i have noticed in my time, it at least 3/5 work places (which are the 3 workplaces i worked at for more than a year) that so many small grievances pile up over time between others than boil over into quitting or being fired or a myriad of other outcomes that could have been avoided by just talking about them
this is what i thought separated me when i was a child from the people older than me, that they had the agency and control over their lives to solve their problems outside of their emotions
however it becomes more obvious to me over time that people like to think they have a barrier between how they feel and being professional, when i think it's extremely obvious the opposite is true in almost every case
their "barrier" is almost entirely within their own heads and from their point of view (which for most people they are unwilling to look upon themselves as the problem - thanks depression and anxiety) and will outwardly exude malicious and hostile energy
then as this builds between people they become hateful and spiteful of eachother, leading to small things you would normally let go between most people you meet being the worst slight ever afflicted upon them
it rankles me to no end that this happens everywhere
i tend to get along with a lot of people, and i don't just say that to be smug, it has been remarked upon by several people throughout the years
i have 3 awards from a previous workplace stating "friend of the world" with regards to my nature to get along with everyone
i don't think this behaviour is something that needs to be rewarded for any reason other than to show people it's something they can also do
i am not trying to be that person, i just am, it makes things easier - i don't like conflict to my own detriment
it drives me insane when people explain a problem they have with another person that i would have just solved by talking to the person about it, why is the first reaction to bottle it up?
i know the answer to my question is past trauma and learned experience - but to me i get infuriated with a lot of daytime television because art needs conflict for some reason or another to exist (yet another future post i feel i should expand on)
anyway, all this to say that i don't think talking about your feelings and problems is that hard - people build the world and everyone in it up as big complex entities that are always against them when in reality - people just exist in the same way you do
they have whatever they have guiding them and if you interact with that, the soul of someone's agency - it think the world and you would be better off for it
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it surprises me sometimes that people hide how they feel about someone in front of them - then when i am alone with them they have a completely different opinion
it makes me feel gross inside, like i am keeping a truth about someone that they haven't realised
i love when people tell me stuff about me, positive or negative, they noticed, and they cared about enough to let me know
they trusted me enough with that criticism that they felt comfortable sharing it - truly a blessing to know how others see you